So, today, for the first time in 25 (!)...


It was pretty simple to do—Apple Time Machine backups let me do it with one click.
That first tweet captures, in two pictures, how badly Apple has “lost the plot” (to quote @wylieprof). On the right is the Apple MagSafe adapter, from 2013. On the left, what I had “upgraded” to.
Thanks, Apple! I really was nostalgic for worrying about yanking my computer off the table.
Oh and I really appreciated not knowing if my computer was charging. What was great was the little whoop sound you used, so that the speaker before me could be informed I was charging my laptop.
Just kidding! That was lame. On the plus side I could now plug the charger in either side. (Except I couldn’t quite because one of the ports was faulty, and it wouldn’t charge properly—I was alerted to that by the salience of a non-whoop silence.)
What else? Oh! The mysterious double-space. At some point, your new keyboard started occasionally inserting two spaces when I only hit the spacebar once.
Maybe I was typing too hard? But then I noticed it elsewhere. For example, I’m pretty sure it happened to Mary Beard too, judging by the unexpected in her tweets. Hi Mary!
The new software updates were great, too. For example, at some point AirPlay stopped working. Fortunately I had yet to upgrade my iPhone, so I could still play music on the stereo.
Still, the upgrade was worth it. After four years, I had a hard drive that was... 50% larger, and a processor that was... 25% faster.
This made it easier when I stared losing work (for the first time in a decade) by unexpected application crashes, because I could load up Safari and... hang on... oop
I also had new friends. Like Laurel and Hardy! Hi guys.
These were so advanced that I had to upgrade their firmware when I first plugged them in (!) Also I think they were $60 each.
The computer itself was so skinny that when I carried these around I felt like a photographer’s assistant at a fashion shoot.
Making the trackpad extra large was great because my finger got a concussion running off the edge of the last one? Not really, but now I could randomly fail to click something if I rested my palm wrong.
This was the first time since the late-1990s Jobs reboot that I felt I was working for my computer, not the other way around.
The era of understated perfection is, in my opinion, over. Given the bugs that erupt with each incremental update now, I can’t even imagine the current team rolling out an entire rewrite of the OS, as they did for OS X. https://t.co/2lZn5RQm4w
One last example, a little more technical. Apple rolled out a new file system. It’s called APFS, you’ll get it free if you upgrade to High Sierra.
APFS forbids “hardlinks”. So if you do upgrade, all of your UNIX stuff will probably break. Why? Because screw you, that’s why.
Oh also—APFS is incompatibile with older versions of Time Machine. Apple can’t even not break its own stuff. And you can’t reformat back to the old system.
https://t.co/RD5XpCYTSm if you don’t believe me.
A new update was released today or so—Mojave (motto: Welcome to the Desert of the Real).
I learned this because people already figured out it breaks Mathematica.
A well-built machine is a beautiful thing. You get attached to excellence in them the way people get attached to the old Volkswagen Beatle.
So, support request to @AppleSupport. Please fire Johnny Ive, and take everyone else on a five year retreat to Tibet to meditate on non-being or something.
@AppleSupport We can wait.
@AppleSupport Or, someone start a tweet campaign and get @elonmusk to build a better laptop—something that will last twenty years and be more than a platform for failed AI voice assistants and marketing popups from Software Update.
To cheer everybody up, here is a list of cool people using macs. https://t.co/pToRotyQyX
Here's why Al Gore lost the election
(Compare to Gore)
The Dixie Chicks?
Don't tell Kayne he forgot the adapter.
Unfriend (@SwiftOnSecurity)
I do not enjoy this user experience
"Mr Putin, I can't find our password?"
Neuro Polarbear Neuro Polarbear: you know what might fix this? if someone would start selling tricked out versions with old keyboard and all ports but 2 TB flash and modern processor, on eBay. they could charge me basically any price...
Neuro Polarbear Neuro Polarbear: back in 2016 they promised us that the world would gradually switch to USB-C. still hasn't happened...
strategy consultant strategy consultant: I have an 08 running Ubuntu and I love it. It’s amazing how fast the OS boots and runs without a bunch of extra software running in the background.
Xavi Pérez Xavi Pérez: I miss Steve Jobs. It just doesn’t have the same feel anymore. I miss the days of “Think Different.”
John Laudun John Laudun: My 2013 MBP is still my preferred computer: the chiclet keys are right in a way that the flat keys are not. Also, yes, magsafe was brilliant, why undo that?
Jessica Otis Jessica Otis: HEAR HEAR. I'm going to be clinging to my 2015 MacBook Pro for dear life for at least the next decade...
Neuro Polarbear Neuro Polarbear: how about a user-run ad campaign called "switch back" profiling users who returned to an earlier model

(last year I downgraded from 2016 pro to 2013 non-pro and have not regretted it)

Wesley Buckwalter Wesley Buckwalter: Thinking of going from my 2018 back to my retina pro 2012, back when all the ports you ever needed were built in.
Professor 👻BOOOOOOOOty👻 Professor 👻BOOOOOOOOty👻: I was shocked when I recently realized my wife’s new MacBook didn’t have that beautiful magnetic adaptor anymore.
Trishank ∞ Karthik Trishank ∞ Karthik: Did you never upgrade macOS?

Because if you did, you'd have a hard time downgrading and restoring from a Time Machine backup on an older laptop running an older macOS