Democratic Debate Like a Nightclub on a Tuesday, Trevor Noah Says

By Trish Bendix

Best of Late Night

Image“‘Six guys in sandals? Come on in!’” Trevor Noah joked about the Democratic debate, in which 12 candidates participated.
“‘Six guys in sandals? Come on in!’” Trevor Noah joked about the Democratic debate, in which 12 candidates participated.CreditCreditComedy Central

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CNN aired a Democratic debate on Tuesday night, where the most of the party’s remaining presidential hopefuls came together, as Jimmy Kimmel said, to “angrily agree with each other for hours.”

CreditCreditVideo by The Daily Show with Trevor Noah

“There were 12 candidates onstage — an all-time record, which is a little weird. I mean, candidates aren’t supposed to multiply as the debates go on. So, please, America, remember to have your candidate spayed or neutered! We can’t handle any more.” — TREVOR NOAH

“Why are there 12 candidates? In the last debate, there were 10. You can’t subtract candidates and then add some back. Have you ever watched a reality show or sports? You don’t go to the Final Four, then suddenly you’re back to the Elite Eight. It’s not the way it works!” — JIMMY KIMMEL

“If you ask me, I think the Democratic Party is just too nice. That’s how this happened. Like, the G.O.P. would never do this. They’re literally canceling entire primaries right now to lock out other candidates. Meanwhile, the Democrats are like a nightclub on a Tuesday: everyone gets in. It’s just like, you know, yeah, it’s just like: ‘Six guys in sandals? Come on in!’” — TREVOR NOAH

“Amy Klobuchar is still — she’s eight laps behind and stopped to have lunch, she’s still in the race!” — JIMMY KIMMEL

“And what’s especially difficult is that most of these candidates won’t even become president, so they’re abandoning their families for nothing. That’s got to be a hard talk to have with your kids. Just like: ‘Hey, buddy — of course, Daddy wants to see you grow up, but he’s got to spend the next two years interrupting people in diners, you know, and — and kissing other people’s kids.’” — TREVOR NOAH

“It’s like the menu at the Cheesecake Factory — there’s too much to choose from. Let’s go through the Cheesecake Factory menu and the candidates. Joe Biden is the old-fashioned burger. Elizabeth Warren is the super antioxidant salad, because it seems kind of good, but also like it’s trying a little bit too hard. Bernie is the chicken salad sandwich, all over your chin. Mayor Pete is the children’s brunch. Beto O’Rourke and Andrew Yang are the roadside sliders — they’re always falling off their skateboards. Cory Booker is shrimp with angel hair, hold the angel hair. Amy Klobuchar — Amy Klobuchar is Renee’s special, because nobody knows who Renee is either. Tulsi Gabbard is the luau salad — Hawaiian and mostly nuts. Kamala Harris, avocado toast — from California, and toast. Julián Castro is the Baja chicken tacos. Because he’s mildly spicy, and he’s a twin so you get two. And Tom Steyer is the Impossible burger, because those are his chances of winning. And they’re all trying to defeat the world-famous pumpkin cheesecake.” — JIMMY KIMMEL

Kimmel and his guest Elton John shared a laugh over a bit of innuendo on Tuesday night.

Jennifer Aniston will sit down with Kimmel to talk about her new Apple TV Plus series, “The Morning Show.”

This year’s Rock & Roll Hall of Fame nominees include The Notorious B.I.G., Whitney Houston, the Dave Matthews Band and Motörhead, all for the first time, in addition to previously shortlisted artists Nine Inch Nails, Depeche Mode, Judas Priest, and Rufus featuring Chaka Khan.